Feb 13, 2010
Today dad visited me. He invited me to go shopping, and after we visited some shops, I realized that I don't feel like buying any clothes. We just bought some oranges and a pizza,which I shared with Nicoleta and Madalina as well.
I haven't eaten pizza in a while. It reminded me of the huge pizza we bought when Derik was here...
I told him that I need a passport and he explained to me everything I need to get it. He also wanted to know how much the ticket will cost, which means that he's really serious about it.
But I have a problem.
My sister and mom need money for some medical problems and I need money to go to Belgium. Dad doesn't have the greatest salary ever.
Now I'm asking myself: what do I do? What is more important? Can we handle both of them? I want to visit my boyfriend, I miss him so much and if I don't visit him this summer, I don't know what will happen with us...
Dad told me not to tell mom about the passport. I understand. I'm so thankful to him for everything he has done and is currently doing for me. I just want to know if he can handle this, but I'm so afraid to ask him...
broken roses
Feb 12, 2010
Time flies... And with it, we walk trough life so fast without even noticing that we're getting older. Everything comes and goes, stays for a bit and leaves, not giving us the chance to realize that we're only ghosts wondering through time and space.
Now that I'm 16, I look back and realize that there are many things that I should have thought twice about before doing them or some mistakes that I'd like to repair but I can't anymore. We only have one life and we can't go back in time (yet) to undo some of our actions, so we should really think about what we're doing, because we won't be able to do anything about it when we realize that we wrong.
I'm pretty OK with what I've done until now, but I guess there are some things that shouldn't have happened, but hey, no one's perfect.
My life got better and better once I started dating Derik ten Napel, my soul mate. Happiness and love reappeared in my heart and with his help, I started enjoying life again.
This was the best birthday ever, mostly because I spent it with my lover. I got such a beautiful present from him that I will never forget: a necklace in the shape of a heart. Half of it is mine and the other half is at Derik. The necklace is very significant for us, keeping our hearts together and one day, the necklace will become intact again. That day, my happiness will be complete.
Until then, I'm going to live my life and enjoy everything as much as I can. Derik will make sure of it.
I love you!
broken roses
Jan 28, 2010
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.” (Einstein)
Sometimes it just amazes me how stupid can some people be. If stupidity would hurt, many people would die in horrible pains, especially the Romanian people...
I'm really ashamed to say it, but it's true: Romanians need to seriously rehab their behavior. And it should happen as fast as possible, or everyone on this planet will suffer one way or another because of it.
I never said that I am too bright or anything, but seriously... If you want people to respect you, try to respect them first. If you insult and treat them like you are superior, you will not get anything except fear and disgrace.
If I continue writing I will get angry or something so I guess I will end this here. Have a good day!
I never said that I am too bright or anything, but seriously... If you want people to respect you, try to respect them first. If you insult and treat them like you are superior, you will not get anything except fear and disgrace.
If I continue writing I will get angry or something so I guess I will end this here. Have a good day!
broken roses
Jan 27, 2010
Making mistakes is what makes us human, but I wish I wouldn't do it that often. I don't even know how to start...
You're such a great person, a great friend, a great lover and you have such a soft heart. I want to thank you for being so patient with me because I know it's so damn hard. I know that you suffer allot and maybe sometimes you wish that...
But I want you to know that I love you. Yes, I love you like I never did before and even if it looks like it sometimes, I never stop loving you. Never...
Your love makes me so happy, your words will my heart with joy, you are able to do something that no one else can in such a simple way: by just loving me...
All the stupid stuff that I do, all the stupid words that I say, my stupid behavior, it's all because... because I miss you... I've been missing you so much since you left, so much that my heart wanted to stop it by eliminating the cause of her suffering: you. That made my act colder and do everything that I did, but I don't to do it anymore.
I love you and I don't want to stop it... ever. That's why I need your forgiveness. I want you to forgive this suffering soul that needs your warm embrace, this soul that feels so cold in the night without you...
Please... Forgive me...
broken roses
Jan 26, 2010
"I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing." (Katherine Mansfield)
Friendship...one of the most intriguing relationships that mankind can develop. It can be so strong, so powerful, so sweet and kind, but sometimes it turns to be so sower...
From my personal experience, I can say that real friendship is extremely rare. There are so many things that interfere with that sweet feeling of having someone close to your heart, someone you can trust and respect, someone that won't leave you at hard times.
Times have changed and now friendship is seen as something that must give you some advantages. If it's not like that, people aren't interested in being friends with you.
When you're friends with someone, some kind of love feelings start appearing. You start caring for the person that represents your friend, you want to protect them, you want to show them that you'll always be there and that they'll always have a shoulder to cry on, you want to mean something in their lives.
Sometimes, from true friendship rises love. It's something wonderful and very well built. Seeing that you already know your partner as a friend, it'll be easier to love and understand them.
That's what happened with me and my boyfriend, and I'm so happy that it was like that! It made everything so much easier! My love for him grows with every day that passes, and I can find in him a lover as well as friend. It's so wonderful knowing that my best friend is the one that I'll be spending the rest of my life with!
"The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love, do not require coupons."
broken roses
Jan 25, 2010
Why are you trying to be someone else? Why are you lying to yourself? Can't you see? Being like that... For what? Who are you trying to impress? Do you think you look prettier? Cuter? More beautiful? Sexier? More attractive? Maybe... probably... yes...
Yes, you are right, I'm doing it. Just to make me feel better about myself, having to believe something that is not true. I wonder if it's good like this. Well I feel better. I don't know about the others. They probably like it more than the real me. I personally do.
You're being so selfish, trying everything just to find some fake peace... misery...
I know, and I accept it.
You're so weak...
Please, I don't want to know that... Lying to myself is all I've got left. It gives me an apparent strength...
Liar...
broken roses
Jan 23, 2010
The sun will always rise. Every morning, every day, after every rain, he'll be on the sky shining and warming up the Earth.
You are my sun, my Earth, the air that I breathe, the water that I drink. Without you, I have no reason to live. That's why, please, don't make my life become useless. Please stay with me and show me what real happiness is. Show me that the world can be better. Show me the sound of heaven. Teach me the words of love by letting them lie on my heart.
Don't let the cold wind get into our warm spring. Don't let others take what we've build over time. Don't let them take us apart. Don't let time or space turn us into strangers.
Let's show the world what we can do, what we can realize and build by only loving each other. Let's not make them believe that we're only two leaves that are randomly falling together, but two birds that found their wings and built a nest of love and happiness together.
Our dreams met, our feelings found each other after a long time of waiting. We are now together, as we were meant to be. Together, body and soul.
So let's make this love last for ever and let's prove the world that soul mates exist.
Ek is lief vir jou, Derik ten Napel.
broken roses
;;
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