Feb 13, 2010
Today dad visited me. He invited me to go shopping, and after we visited some shops, I realized that I don't feel like buying any clothes. We just bought some oranges and a pizza,which I shared with Nicoleta and Madalina as well.
I haven't eaten pizza in a while. It reminded me of the huge pizza we bought when Derik was here...
I told him that I need a passport and he explained to me everything I need to get it. He also wanted to know how much the ticket will cost, which means that he's really serious about it.
But I have a problem.
My sister and mom need money for some medical problems and I need money to go to Belgium. Dad doesn't have the greatest salary ever.
Now I'm asking myself: what do I do? What is more important? Can we handle both of them? I want to visit my boyfriend, I miss him so much and if I don't visit him this summer, I don't know what will happen with us...
Dad told me not to tell mom about the passport. I understand. I'm so thankful to him for everything he has done and is currently doing for me. I just want to know if he can handle this, but I'm so afraid to ask him...
broken roses
Feb 12, 2010
Time flies... And with it, we walk trough life so fast without even noticing that we're getting older. Everything comes and goes, stays for a bit and leaves, not giving us the chance to realize that we're only ghosts wondering through time and space.
Now that I'm 16, I look back and realize that there are many things that I should have thought twice about before doing them or some mistakes that I'd like to repair but I can't anymore. We only have one life and we can't go back in time (yet) to undo some of our actions, so we should really think about what we're doing, because we won't be able to do anything about it when we realize that we wrong.
I'm pretty OK with what I've done until now, but I guess there are some things that shouldn't have happened, but hey, no one's perfect.
My life got better and better once I started dating Derik ten Napel, my soul mate. Happiness and love reappeared in my heart and with his help, I started enjoying life again.
This was the best birthday ever, mostly because I spent it with my lover. I got such a beautiful present from him that I will never forget: a necklace in the shape of a heart. Half of it is mine and the other half is at Derik. The necklace is very significant for us, keeping our hearts together and one day, the necklace will become intact again. That day, my happiness will be complete.
Until then, I'm going to live my life and enjoy everything as much as I can. Derik will make sure of it.
I love you!
broken roses
Jan 27, 2010
Making mistakes is what makes us human, but I wish I wouldn't do it that often. I don't even know how to start...
You're such a great person, a great friend, a great lover and you have such a soft heart. I want to thank you for being so patient with me because I know it's so damn hard. I know that you suffer allot and maybe sometimes you wish that...
But I want you to know that I love you. Yes, I love you like I never did before and even if it looks like it sometimes, I never stop loving you. Never...
Your love makes me so happy, your words will my heart with joy, you are able to do something that no one else can in such a simple way: by just loving me...
All the stupid stuff that I do, all the stupid words that I say, my stupid behavior, it's all because... because I miss you... I've been missing you so much since you left, so much that my heart wanted to stop it by eliminating the cause of her suffering: you. That made my act colder and do everything that I did, but I don't to do it anymore.
I love you and I don't want to stop it... ever. That's why I need your forgiveness. I want you to forgive this suffering soul that needs your warm embrace, this soul that feels so cold in the night without you...
Please... Forgive me...
broken roses
Jan 26, 2010
"I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing." (Katherine Mansfield)
Friendship...one of the most intriguing relationships that mankind can develop. It can be so strong, so powerful, so sweet and kind, but sometimes it turns to be so sower...
From my personal experience, I can say that real friendship is extremely rare. There are so many things that interfere with that sweet feeling of having someone close to your heart, someone you can trust and respect, someone that won't leave you at hard times.
Times have changed and now friendship is seen as something that must give you some advantages. If it's not like that, people aren't interested in being friends with you.
When you're friends with someone, some kind of love feelings start appearing. You start caring for the person that represents your friend, you want to protect them, you want to show them that you'll always be there and that they'll always have a shoulder to cry on, you want to mean something in their lives.
Sometimes, from true friendship rises love. It's something wonderful and very well built. Seeing that you already know your partner as a friend, it'll be easier to love and understand them.
That's what happened with me and my boyfriend, and I'm so happy that it was like that! It made everything so much easier! My love for him grows with every day that passes, and I can find in him a lover as well as friend. It's so wonderful knowing that my best friend is the one that I'll be spending the rest of my life with!
"The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love, do not require coupons."
broken roses
Jan 23, 2010
The sun will always rise. Every morning, every day, after every rain, he'll be on the sky shining and warming up the Earth.
You are my sun, my Earth, the air that I breathe, the water that I drink. Without you, I have no reason to live. That's why, please, don't make my life become useless. Please stay with me and show me what real happiness is. Show me that the world can be better. Show me the sound of heaven. Teach me the words of love by letting them lie on my heart.
Don't let the cold wind get into our warm spring. Don't let others take what we've build over time. Don't let them take us apart. Don't let time or space turn us into strangers.
Let's show the world what we can do, what we can realize and build by only loving each other. Let's not make them believe that we're only two leaves that are randomly falling together, but two birds that found their wings and built a nest of love and happiness together.
Our dreams met, our feelings found each other after a long time of waiting. We are now together, as we were meant to be. Together, body and soul.
So let's make this love last for ever and let's prove the world that soul mates exist.
Ek is lief vir jou, Derik ten Napel.
broken roses
Jan 21, 2010
Feelings are like raindrops: a multitude of them, always different and never alike. Sometimes they're weird, sometimes they're funny, happy and sad, melancholic and active and they have lots and lots of shapes and colors.
I was never too emotional because I never had to. Feelings were not made for me. I just don't like showing them, probably because I've always been a very quiet person who didn't have too many friends. But that changed over time and I started getting more and more friends until the end of the 8th grade, when I had to leave all of them and go to high school. but there I met other friends and other friendships started, which will end at the end of the 12th grade and so on. But oh well...
Life is pretty short and we must live it at full capacity, something that i don't really do. I'm the lazy-type boring person which doesn't do much with her life. Yeah, I have goals like becoming a psychologist and having a nice career, I want to learn dutch and move to Belgium to live with my boyfriend, but sometimes I feel that everything is useless. Maybe it's because I'm a teenager and I still don't know what I want.
I often wonder how my future is going to be. Will it be a bright one or will I just be an average person that no one heard of? I'll just have to wait and see...
Until then, I'll just live my life...
broken roses
Jan 20, 2010
My life is...uhm..nice I guess. I'm not complaining.
Sure, there are lots of ups and downs, but that's how the cookie crumbles [Derik's line ^^].
I can't wait for summer!!! It'll be the best summer ever!!! I'll be in his arms again, holding his warm body against mine, kissing his sweet lips and whispering him how much I love him.
There's nothing better than being with your soul mate, the one that completes you, your other half.
I often wonder if I'm a good person... I'm not the one that can say this, it's the others. But since I don't really communicate with other people...uhm...they can't really say anything about me. Well I don't care anyway.
I never enjoyed sharing my life with other people, that's why I never had too many friends. But who cares? I only need one person: Derik. He is both my lover and my best friend, he is everything I need, everything I want, everything I wish for. And I'm happy. So incredibly happy.
Thank you, liefste Derik.
broken roses
Jan 19, 2010
Life is weird sometimes...
Not only that you can find the love of your life on the Internet, but you can also get to live in an apartment with two friends and no parents...
It sounds wonderful, huh? That's what I thought and... was I wrong or right? Only time can decide.
I'm happy with what I have now but I can't say that I don't wish for more. I do, but I'm patient. I was forced to do it and I guess it's a good thing.
But let's think about good things like my boyfriend, Derik.
Since I met him, my life has changed in a wonderful way.Thanks to him, I can say that I am truly happy.
His gorgeous eyes, his adorable smile, his great personality, his sweet random giggles make him perfect in any possible way. He is the one that I can finally call "my life partner", my hope, my necessity, my wish...
My everything...
Thank you
broken roses
;;
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